Monday Starts on Saturday

Monday Starts on Saturday 

 

I was getting close to my destination. Around me, pressing into the very road itself green forest, occasionally making room for fields, blooming with yellow sedges. The sun had long before begun to set but simply couldn’t finish it and hung low just above the horizon. The car bounced along the narrow road, covered with crunchy gravel. Every time I let a big (piece, chunk, stone) under my wheel, the empty canisters shook and rattled from the trunk.  

On the right, from the forest, two figures came, stepped onto the shoulder and stopped, looking in my direction. One of them raised his hand. I let go of сбросил газ the gas, looking them over. They were, it seemed to me, hunters, young, perhaps a bit older than me. I decided I liked their faces, so I stopped. The one who raised his hand, stuck a смуглое hawk-nosed face into the car and asked smiling:  

Might you be able to shlep us to Solovetz? 

The other, with a red beard and no whiskers, 

Also smiled, looking in from behind his friend 

Positively, these were good people. 

-Come on, have a seat- I said- One in front, only space for one in the back cause I got my stuff back there.  

-Savior!- gratefully exclaimed hawk-nose, he took his rifle from his shoulder and sat next to me. The beard, indecisively (hesitantly) glancing at the rear door, said:  

 

I turned right around and helped him clear some room where my sleeping bacg and tent were tangled together. He gently sat down, placing the rifle between his knees. Cose the foor a bit harder- I said  

Everything went as usual. The car shook. Hawk-nose turned and animatedly, excitedly exclaimed about how much nicer it was to ride in a swift car, than go by foot. The beard agreed with him and slammed the door a few more times. “Watch your cloak,” I advised, looking at him in the rear-view mirror. “Your cloak is caught in the door.” After five minutes we were all ready. I asked “About 10 kilometers to Solovetz?” “Yes” said hawk-nose - “or a bit further. It’s not really important, but the road is only for trucks. “The road is perfectly pleasant! I objected- 

“They told me I would never make it through.” 

“Here, sure but from Korobetz it’s gravel.”  

“This year we had a dry summer too, everything dried out. 

“Near Zatonya, their saying raind” remakred the beard from the back seat. “Who says that?” Asked hawk-nose. “Marlin said it,” and for some reason they both laughed. I took out my cigarettes, lit one and invited them to help themselves. “Made by Clara Tsetkin,” said hawk-nose, examining the pack. -Are you from Leningrad?” - “Yes” “Traveling”- “Traveling” - I said- and are you all locals? “Native” - said hawk-nose. “I am from Murmansk” said the beard. “To Leningrad, Murmansk and Solovetz are one in the same: North” said hawk-nose. “For sure” I said, “I am traveling to Solovetz.”  

“Do you have family there”  

“No” I said, “just waiting for some folks. They are traveling along the coast and Solovetz is our rendezvous point.” 

Ahead of us, I glimpsed a large rough-spot in the road with large stones, I slammed on the breaks and said “hold fast!”. The car shook and jumped. Hawk-nose hit his nose on the butt of his rifle. The motor exploded and stones bashed into the cars underside. 

“Poor car” - said hawk-nose.  

“What to do…” I replied 

“Not just anybody drives on this sort of road in their own car.” 

“I would” I said. 

The rough spot ended. 

“Ah, so this is not your car” haw-nose guessed. 

“Well since when do I have a car! This is a rental.” 

“I see” -said hawk-nose, seemingly disappointed, I felt annoyed. “Why buy a car just to drive it on asphalt all the time?”  

“Yes, of course” hawk-nose politely agreed 

“I think it’s silly to make idols out of cars.” I proclaimed. 

“Dumb” the beard said, “But not everyone thinks so.” 

We talked about cars and arrived to the conclusion that, if you are going to buy something, it was best to buy a GA7-69.” All terrain, but unfortunately, they don’t sell them. Then hawk-nose asked, “where do you work?” I answered “Collosal” - and hawk-nose exclaimed - “A programmer! That is exactly what we need! Hey listen, forget your institute and come work for us!” “What do you have?” “What do we have?” Asked hawk-nose - turning around. “Alden-33” said the beard. “That’s an expensive car,” I said “and it runs well?” - “Yea, how should I put this…?” 

“I see” - I said. “Actually, they are still debugging it” said the beard. Stay with us, help us fix it, and we will arrange a (translation, trip) for you in a jiffy и перевод мы вам в два счёта устроим.” Added hawk-nose. “And what do you all do?” I asked. “Like all of science…” said hawk-nose, “we work for human happiness.” “I see” I said, “something to do with outer space?” “With outer space as well” said hawk-nose.  

“I don’t know, I like what I do. If it aint broke, don’t fix it, you know?” I said 

“It’s a sound city with a very comfortable salary.” Said the beard quietly, but I heard him. 

“No need for that,” I said, “I’m not just about the money мерять на деньги” “ Hey, I was just kidding” - said the beard - “He likes to joke that way - said hawk-nose- You won’t find anything anywhere quite as interesting as what we have.” How do you figure? “I’m sure of it” “and I am not so sure.” Hawk-nose smiled “we will talk more about it” he said, “will you be staying in Solovetz?” 

“Two days max”- 

“Then on the second day, we will talk.” 

the beard assured me: “Personally, I see in this the hand of fate - we went for a walk in the woods and found a programmer. It seems to me that you are destiny.”  

“You guys really need a programmer that bad?” - I asked. 

“We desperately need a programmer.” 

“Well, I’ll chat with some of the guys. I know of some who aren’t happy at work.” 

“We don’t need just any programmer” -  said hawk-nose 

“Programmer are a profession in deficit, they are spoiled, and we need one who is not spoiled.”  

“Yes, that is harder” I said 

Hawk-nose stretched his fingers - “we need a programmer who is A: not spoiled, B: a volunteer, and C: agrees to live in a dormitory…” 

“D”- added the beard- “for 120 rubles,” - “and what about крылышек” I asked 

 

“Or, shall we say, stars around your head?” One in a million!” - “and all we need is one” - said hawk-nose - “And if there are only 900?” ‘ “In agreement on 9/10s” 

 

The forest gave way, we crossed a bridge and rolled by potato fields. “9 o’clock,” said hawk-nose- “where do you plan on spending the night?” - “I’ll sleep in the car. When do the shops close here?” - “The shops are already closed.” - said hawk-nose. “You could stay in the dormitory,” said the beard. “I have a spare cot in my room,”  

“You won’t make it to the dormitory,” said hawk-nose, pondering (задумчиво). 

“But of course,” said the beard, and he smiled for some reason. “You can leave the car by the police station,” said hawk-nose. “That’s not necessary… я несу __________а ты за мной вслед, как он в общежитие-то пройдет?” -  

“Danget, you’re right,” said hawk-nose, “Seriously, you don’t work for one day and already forget about all of this stuff!”  

“А может быть трансгресировать его?” Well, well- said hawk-nose- This isn’t a divan. And you are not Christobal Hunt, and me neither…”  

“Ya don’t worry about it,” I said- “I’ll sleep in the car, not the first time.” All of a sudden I wanted terribly to sleep on a bed (на простынях). I had already slept in my sleeping bag for four nights in a row.” 

“Listen,” said hawk-nose, “ho-ho! Изнаружок!” 

“That’s it!” Chimed the beard. 

“To the warmsea Лукоморье with him!” 

“God bless it, but I will sleep in the car,” I said 

“You are going to spend the night in a house,” said hawk-nose, “on relatively clean sheets. After all, we must repay you somehow…” 

Не полтинник же вам совать,- said hawk-nose 

We entered the city. Ancient sturdy fences потянулись, powerful posts made from giant black logs, with narrow _________ с разными налачниками, with wooden roosters on their rooves.  

A few dirty old brick structures with iron doors had fallen (попалось), a sight which pulled from my memory the unfamiliar word “лабаз.” The main street was straight and wide and was called Prospekt Mira. Ahead, closer to the center, there appeared two story apartment buildings with open сквериками balconies. 

-Next street, take a right- said hawk-nose. I turned on the signal, slowed down and turned right. The road here was over with grass, but у какой то калитки стоял, приткнувшись, новенький “Запорожец.” The house numbers hung above the gates, their numerals hardly noticeable на ржавой жести on the rusted hangings, trappings, signs, etc. The street was called: “Ул. Лукоморье.” It was not very wide, and stuffed between heavy ancient fences (walls), built probably in the days when Swedish and Norwegian pirates (raided) шатали 

-Stop- said hawk-nose. I hit the brakes, and he hit his nose again on the butt of his rifle, 

-now, listen to me, he said, wiping his nose. -You guys wait, and I will go ahead and arrange everything. 

-Really, it’s not necessary- I said for the last time. 

-I won’t hear of it, Volodya, hold him (на мушке) 

Hawk-nose got out of the car and, нагнувшись, простинулась в низкую калитку. Over the incredible heights of the fence, the house was not even visible. The gate was absolutely phenomenal (impressive, massive), as if from (depot, train depot, where are notoriously big walls? Soviet imagery?) в паравозном депо on rusty iron hinges struggling with the weight. I read it’s signs with surprise. There were three of them. On the left, sharply shining with thick glass was a solid blue sign with silver lettering: 

 

Nithang НИИЧАВО 

A cottage on chicken legs 

A memorial to the Solovetz of old 

 

On the right gate from the top hung a rusty tin sheet: “Lukomorye (warmsea st.) building 13, N.K. Gornych” 

And under that hung a piece of plywood with crooked, shifty lettering 

THE CAT IS NOT WORKING 

-the administration- 

-What CAT?- I asked- Committee for Artillery Technology?- 

The beard giggled 

Just remain calm- he said- Things here may be queer (interesting, curious, strange) but everything will be put in order.- 

I got out of the car and started to clean the windshield. Above my head I heard something. I looked up. On the gate perched, arranging himself comfortably, a giant- I have never seen anything quite like it- black with patchy grey, c-a-t. Seated, he contentedly and disinterested he looked at me with yellow eyes. 

“Heeeeeeere. Kitty, kitty, kitty…” I said automatically. I the cat coldly and politely opned his toothy mouth, uttered a husky throaty sound, and turned away to look inside the courtyard. From that direction, behind the fence, the voice of hawk-nose called: 

-Vasilly, my friend, please allow me to disturb you.- 

A bolt screeched (creaked). The cat got up and quietly jumped into the courtyard. The gates shook, gave an awful screech and crack, and the left gate slowly opened. The face of hawk-nose, red from effort, appeared from around the gate.  

-Savior!- he called- Drive in!- 

I returned to my car and slowly frove into the coutryard. The coutryard was quite large, in its depths stood a cottage made from thick logs, and in front of the the cottage formidably stood a thick, squat oak, wide, solid with a thick crown of leaves leaning over the roof od the house. 

From the gate to the house, bending around the oak, was a small road, laid out with stone tiles. To the right of the road was a vegetable garden, and to the left in the middle of the lawn (stood, appeared, emerged) the well with a little gate, black with age and covered in moss. 

I pulled the car off to the side, killed the engine and got out. Bearded Volodya also got out, left his rifle to the side and started unloading my luggage. 

-And now you are home- he said 

Hawk-nose with a screech and a crack closed the gate, and I, already feeling quite strange, looked around not sure of what to do now. And there is the hostess!- exclaimed the beard.- Ро-здорову ли, баушка, Naina saint Kiyevna! 

She had to be over a hundred. She came towards us slowly, leaning (limping) on a dried-out stick, dragging her feet in Valenky and goloshes.” 

Her face was a dark brown; from a solid mass of wrinkels sticking out (stuck out) and down her nose, crooked and sharp like a scimitar and her eyes were pale (she had pale eyes), dull and covered in cataracts. 

-Hello, hello me dear,- she pronounced with an unexpectedly powerful bass. -So this means this is going to be our new programmer? Hello little-father, welcome!... 

I bowed, understanding that I should be silent (hold my tongue). The old maid’s head situated above a black puffy scarf tied below her chin, was covered in a goofy (funny silly, colorful, absurd) nylon kerchief with depictions of Atomium in different colors and logos in different languages: “International Exhibition in Brussels.” A sparse grey stubble loitered on her chin and under her nose. The old maid was dressed in a quilted vest and black dress. 

-It seems that way, Naina Kiyevna!- said hawk-nose, approaching and wiping off some rust with his palm. We need to put our new colleague up for two nights. Allow me to introduce him...mmm… 

-There’s no need for that-said the old woman, looking me over thoroughly. - “I can see for myself. Privalov, Alexander Ivonich - of the year one thousand nine hundred and thirty eight, male, Russian, a member of the ВЛКСМ, no wait he is not a member, did not take part, and doesn’t have it, and for you, diamond, he will make for a long road and interests in the highest house, because they are afraid of you brilliant one, a red, unkind person is needed, a gilded hilt of ruby…” 

Ahem! - loudly sounded hawk-nose, and the old woman broke off. There followed an awkward silence for a moment. 

“You can just call me Sasha,” I finally said, a well rehearsed line. 

“And where am I supposed to keep him?” The old maid inquired 

-In the spare room of course,- said hawk-nose a bit annoyed 

-Who is going to answer for him?  

Naina Kiyevna! Hawk-nose exploded with the vocals of a provincial tragedian.He grabbed the old woman under the arm and dragged her into the house. Their fighting and arguing was entirely audible: “Didn’t we have an agreement!” 

“And what if he steals something?” 

“Hey, shhhh, don’t talk so loud! This is a real programmer,do you understand that? I member of the Komsomol! A scientist!” 

“And what if he tisks цыкать,?” 

-I shyly turned to Volodya. Volodya chuckled. 

-Something doesn’t feel quite right- I said 

-Don’t worry- everything is going to be excellent… 

He wanted to say something else but Gramma screamed wildly: “and the divan, what about the divan!”  

I shivered, started, twitched, turned, snapped to, and said 

-You know, really, I’m gonna go, ok? 

-No can do! - Volodya said decisively- Everything will fall into place. It’s just that Gramma wants a bribe and Ruman and I don’t have any cash. 

-I’ll pay,- I said. Now I really wanted to leave: I have no patience for such provincial hustling schemes 

Volodya shook his head 

-No need, look, he’s already coming out. Everything is in order.- 

Hawk-nosed Ruman walked up to us, took my hand and said: 

-Well, it’s all arranged. Let’s go! 

-Hey listen, this feels wrong to me,- I said- She doesn’t have to do this… 

But we were already walking towards the house. 

-Yes she does, yes she does- Ruman replied 

Walking around the oak, we approached the rear of the cottage. Ruman pushed on a rickety old door and we found ourselves in an entryway, plain and clean, but dimly lit. The old woman waited for us, with her hands resting on her stomach and her lips pursed. Upon seeing us she sonorously bespoke with vengeance in her solid bass (она мстительно провасила). 

А расрисочку чтобы сейчас же!... Так, мол, и так принял, мол, то-то и то-то от такой-то, каковая сдала вышеуказанное нижеподписавшемуся…” 

I need a receipt right now! Yea so, like, hmmm, you accept, like so and so and so and so from such and such, this one will rent the aforementioned to the signee…” 

Ruman quietly groaned, and we entered into my allotted room. It was a cool space(quarters) with one window hung with calico drapes.  

Ruman spoke with an electric voice: 

-Relax and make yourself at home.- 

The old woman now anxiously inquired from the entryway: 

-And this one will definitely not TISK? А зубом оне не цыкают? 

Ruman, not even turning around, roared: 

Не цыкают! Говорят вам- зубов нет. 

Ok fine, let’s go write up the receipt… 

Ruman raised his eyebrows, rolled his eyes, grimaced and shook his head, but still went out with her. I looked around. There was not much furniture in the room. BY the window stood a heavy table covered with a threadbare grey embroidered tablecloth, in front of the table stood a rickety stool. By the bare log wall sprawled a wide divan and on the other wall, which was covered with a variety of wall papers, were hooks hung with various junk (quilted jackets, discarded fur coats, dirty caps and ear muffs) a large Russian woodstove stuck out into the room, glistening with a fresh layer of white stucco. Across the room, in the corner was a large foggy mirror in a shabby frame. The floor was all scratched and covered with striped rugs. 

Behind the wall, two voiced babbled away (бубнили): the old woman spoke in her deep bass, and the voice of Ruman raised and lowered rhymically. 

-Tablecloth, inventory number 245…-write everything down! Dining table…- 

-Will you take note of the stove as well?- 

-We must have order… the divan?- 

I walked up to the window and pulled back the curtains. Outside was the oak and nothing else was visible beyond that. I looked at the oak. It was clear, this tree was ancient. It’s bark was grey and half-dead, and its monstrous roots, where they came above ground, were covered in red and white lichens.  

-Shall I take note of the oak, also?- Ruman said from the other room. 

On the windowsill was a solid greasy book and I flicked through it without thinking before I left the window and sat on the divan. And all of a sudden, all I wanted was to sleep. I thought to myself about how I drove for 14 hours, how it was totally not worth it to be in such a hurry, how my back hurt, my head spun, about how I wanted to spit on this old lady (что плевать мне, в конце концов, на эту нудную старуху) and then this would all be over sooner so I can lie down and go to sleep… 

-Well there- said Ruman, appearing at the door to my room. 

-The formalities are over- He shook my hand with splayed out blackened fingers с растопыренными пальцами, измазанными чернилами).  

-Our poor little fingers are tired: we wrote and we wrote… lie down, go to bed. We are leaving now and you may rest easy. What will you do tomorrow? 

-Wait- I answered slowly 

-Where?- 

-Here, and by the post office- 

-Most likely, tomorrow you will not be leaving?- 

-Most likely not. I’ll probably leave the day after tomorrow.- 

-Then I will see you again. Our любовь (adventure, times, relations) are still to come.- He smiled, waved his hand and left. I lazily thought to myself about how I should walk him out and say good bye to Volodya, but instead I laid down. Now the old woman entered the room. I stood up. The old woman looked me over for awhile. 

-I am afraid, little father, that you are going to TISK me through your teeth,- she said perturbed 

-I will not TISK you,- I said wearily- I am going to bed. 

-Then lie down, sleep… just pay me the money and you can sleep… 

I reached into my back pocket for bills. 

-How much do you want from me?- 

The old woman raised her eyes to the ceiling 

-A ruble for the lodgings… a half for the clean sheets - those are my personal sheets. For two nights it’ll cost you three rubles - and then however much you’d like to tip...you know… for the disturbance. Now what does that come to…- 

I handed her five rubles 

-One ruble tip for now- I said- We’ll just see about later.- 

The old lady quickly snatched the money and got out of there, muttering something about change. She was gone for some time and I already did not expect change or clean sheets, but alas she came back and laid out a handful of dirty coins on the table. 

-Here’s your change, little father,- she said.- An even ruble, no need to count it.- 

-I’m not going to count it,- I said- What about the sheets?- 

-I’ll make the bed for you. Go outside and play and I will make the bed.- 

I exited, taking out my cigarettes. The sun finally set, but the white nights had begun. Somewhere far off dogs barked. I had a seat under the oak on a bunch half-sunken into the earth. I smoked and looked at the pale, starless sky. Out of nowhere, appeared the cat, he looked at me with fluorescent eyes, and then quickly scrambled up the oak and disappeared in the dark foliage. I immediately forgot about him and winced when he called from somewhere above. Some debris fell on my head… 

-What the…- I said, wiping my hair. 

I wanted desperately to sleep. The old lady came out of the cottage, paying no attention to me, and made straight for the well. I understood this to mean the bed was made so I returned to me room. The cursed old bag had made my bed on the floor. 

-That’s quite enough- I thought, shutting and latching the door, and moving the sheets to the divan. I started to undress. 

Twilight fell through the window, the cat was making a lot of noise in the oak. I shook my head and wiped more junk from my hair. This was really strange junk to have fallen from an old oak tree: large, dried out fish scales.  

-I need to sleep- I thought, and laying my head on the pillow, I fell asleep immediately. 

 

CHAPTER 2 

I awoke in the middle of the night because somebody was having a conversation in my room. There were two hardly audible (barely noticeable) whispers. The voices were very similar to each other, only one was more hoarse and wheezy, and the other was seriously irritated. 

-Stop wheezing- whispered the irritated voice. -Can you just not wheeze,eh?- 

-I can- responded the wheezer with a cough. 

-Be quiet, you…- whispered the irritated voice. 

-I’m a wheezer,- explained the wheeze. -Just a little morning smoker’s cough…- coughing again. 

-You need to leave- said the irritated voice 

-Whatever, he is still asleep- 

-Who is he? Where did he escape from?- 

-How should I know?- 

-What a shame… it simply won’t do.- 

-Again, my neighbors can’t sleep.- I thought to myself dreamily. I thought I was at home. At home I have two brother physicists for neighbors who absolutely love working at night. Around two in the morning they run out of cigarettes and then they let themselves into my room for more, stumbling over furniture and arguing back and forth. 

I grabbed my pillow and threw it out into the dark emptiness. Something tipped with a bang, and everything went quiet. 

-Please return the pillow,- I said- and get the hell out of here. The cigarettes are on the table.- The sound of my voice stirred me to alertness. I sat up. Dogs barked forlornly, from the other room the old woman was snoring terribly. I finally remembered where I was. There was nobody in the room. In the twilight I saw my pillow on the floor and some junk, fallen from the hanger. 

-Gramma is going to rip my head off- I said to myself and got out of bed. The floor was cold and I had to hop from rug to rug. Gramma stopped snoring and I froze. The floorboards creaked, something crunched and shuffled in the corners. Gramma whistled loudly and started snoring again. I picked up my pillow and threw it on the divan. The overturned junk smelled like dog. The hanger had lost a nail and hung sideways. I uprighted it and started to pick up the fallen junk. Hardly had I hung the last cloak, when the hook fell out once more, tearing the wallpaper and hanging from one nail again. The old maid snored and I poured with cold sweat. Somewhere not far off, a rooster called. 

-Oh, go suck eggs,- I thought with hatred. The old woman started rolling around, her bed springs screeched and moaned. I waited, standing on one leg. In the courtyard, somebody quietly said: 

 “It’s time for sleep, we stayed up quite late today, you and I.” The voice was young and female. 

-If you want to sleep, then sleep,- replied the other voice. I heard a prolonged and deep yawn.  

-Are you done splashing about for today?- 

-Давай баиньки- 

It became quiet. Granna growled and grumbled, and I carefully returned to the divan. In the morning I’ll get up early and set everything straight. 

I laid on my right side, pulled the blanket to my ears, closed my eyes and suddenly understood, that I absolutely did not want to sleep. 

- Ayaiyai!- I thought. I simply had to take stock of my situation, and that’s just what I did.